How to boost your child’s confidence in 15 different ways!

Last Updated: December 24, 2021

Your success will be determined by by your own confidence and fortitude

– Michelle Obama

Confidence is one of the most important aspects of life in order to have a successful, happy and fulfilling life in future. It is not something a child is born with, but a skill that is learnt over the years with practice. Carl Pickhardt, a psychologist and author of 15 parenting books, says that a kid who lacks confidence is reluctant to try new or challenging things because they’re scared of failing or disappointing others. This can end up holding them back later in life and prevent them from having a successful career. That’s why, it’s really important to boost your child’s confidence from an early age.

15 different ways

As a parent, you always want your child to be more confident in life so that they can achieve greater success over time. You want them to chase their dreams and live meaningful, successful lives.

But where to start?

Remember this! Confidence is a skill, like all the other skills in the world. It can be learned and applied to the child by following specific steps slowly and gradually to a beautiful life ahead. 

Well, we have put together the top 15 ways we believe help your child to boost confidence and self-esteem. Use these effective strategies to boost confidence and make them self-reliant. 

1. Encourage a positive mindset.

It is really important for a child to have a positive mindset towards multiple activities. Try to encourage your child to be positive in the things they say and the way they think. If they say “I can’t do anything”, show them the alternative way of the task given and help them if needed. This way you can prove that they possess the capability to do much more stuff then they think. Sometimes, kids are so focused on their problems and their flaws, that they forget to develop gratitude. Help your children to look outside themselves and see the bigger picture. Once they understand that life is all about a positive approach, their mindset will shift and they will be able to make a difference in the world.

2. Set weekly goals.

Guide your kids to set weekly goals. Make sure the goals are small and achievable within a period of 7 days. It could be a simple goal such as finishing reading a book, cleaning their room, arranging their stationary items, etc. 

Alternatively, it could be a long term goal as well for which they can practice on a day to day basis. It could be as simple as doing 15 minutes of exercise, preparing for SATs, practicing basketball, etc. Goals need not to be complicated or unrealistic. Realistic and simple goals can lead them to believe in themselves more and ultimately enhance their self confidence. 

3. Encourage them to help others (avoid comparison)

Encourage your child to do something for someone without expecting anything in return. This could also be a part of the weekly goal as mentioned above. When kids do selfless chores to help others, it boosts their confidence to a higher level.

Similarly, whenever they are excelling in a field, suggest that they impart the knowledge and use the skills to help others instead of comparing them with other kids in any situation. 

4. Ask them for their opinions and ideas

Asking your child for their opinions and ideas on age-appropriate topics lets them know that you value them and their ideas. It could be as simple as deciding on which TV channel to watch, or where to eat family dinner, which clothes they want to wear for a party or even what color of bag they want to purchase. Involve your kid in setting family rules or bedtime routines. 

You might be surprised at how insightful they are, and how good they are with coming up with solutions. 

5. Create a Hall Of Fame

Celebrating small victories and achievements makes us feel good. We realize how far we have come, and we feel inspired to take on challenges in future. When your child makes progress or overcome fear, celebrate with them. 

Keep visual reminders of things that make them feel good about their work by creating a “Wall of Fame” of all the great things your child has done. This could be photographs of them participating in sports, or other activities, art projects, certificates or trophies. 

6. Harness the power of repetition

Watch an episode of a TV show made for kids and you will see it is remarkably similar to the next one. All the cartoon characters in a TV show always wear the same clothes, endings are the same, and the theme song plays at the exact same time. Children often tend to pick up habits that are repeated over a time. You can harness the power of repetition to boost confidence in your child by practicing multiple activities. 

7. Share struggle of people with lack of confidence

No one succeeds at everything all the time. There have been setbacks, failure, criticism and pain. You can help your children understand that it’s normal to face challenges by sharing difficulties faced by you or other people they know. The more you share these challenges, the more they realize that it is completely okay to be vulnerable at times and having a problem in life is not a sign of weakness. Your child’s confidence will improve more when they will hear about your hurdles in life and how you overcame them. 

8. Focus on process, not the outcome

Life is much more than perfection. Instead, it’s about making progress. We’re all continuously learning new skills. So, when you are praising your child, focus on the process and not on the outcome. If your child has scored well, you can say “I am really proud of you for all of your hard work” instead of “I am proud of you for getting good marks”. These kinds of minor changes in our sentences can have a major impact on our child and make them confident for life. Even if your child has not scored well, you can praise them for working on it instead of dwelling in sadness for not getting good enough grades. 

9. Ensure that the challenges are appropriate for their ability (Give them “age appropriate” tasks)

You can show your kid that they can learn and accomplish small goals to reach big goals- like practice skating for 10 minutes daily . Give them the responsibility and challenge which are age-specific and easy to achieve. These challenges can include small tasks like taking care of their pet for a whole day or assisting parents in household chores.  Having a sense of responsibility can really help them to become more confident in life. 

10. Become a more confident person yourself

Children are constantly observing and learning from adults. They’ll treat people the way you do, so be kind. Since your children are always observing you, let them see that you’re confident in your abilities. Value positive self-talk. If you portray that you are incapable of doing a task, they will start applying the same concept on themselves. Instead, show that you’re willing to go outside your comfort zone. Give those tasks a try and let them adapt the same mindset of trying things before giving up.

11. Show interest in the activities they love.

Sometimes, children want to do some tasks that you find completely boring or have no interest in. But, showing a little interest in their plays or activities can boost their confidence so much that they actually begin to see all projects and tasks as important ones. Even if they just want to see some random YouTube video or play online games or go outside and play with snow. You can show some interest in these activities and then guide them to attain more success in various chores. 

12. Let them be disappointed

Whenever you see your kid disappointed or sad for any reason, don’t jump to the conclusion and try to solve their problem or even try to remove the cause of it. It can have a negative effect. Instead of jumping to a rash decision, give your child some time to deal with the situation. It is really important for them to understand the situations they face that can cause failure or disappointment. Once they go through this phase, they become more confident in the future and gain a whole new perspective for things.

13. Ensure they know your love is unconditional

This seems pretty obvious but it’s actually the most important thing you can give to your kid. The way we see our kids has a very deep impact on the way they see themselves. Always make it clear to your child that you love and care for them even when they make a mistake, or poor decision and always avoid harshly criticizing or shaming them. If all you talk about is their performance, they will think you only love them for their report cards, not the overall person they are. 

14. Understand and Embrace their failure

The fear of failure often prevents children from trying their best and simply diminishes their confidence for life. Understand that everyone has their own bad days. Let your child know that it’s completely okay to feel sad, and that their is nothing wrong or right.  Don’t ignore your child’s feelings completely. Instead, help them to understand the situation in a better form and let them make decisions about it. Once you start understanding their failures and let them know how to embrace them, they will be more confident in future and responsible for their actions. 

15. Address them with their name

What’s in the name, they say. It’s the person, the self – little or big. Calling your child by name, especially with eye contact, exhibits a “you are important” message. It’s often noticed that children with self-confidence more frequently address their peers and adults by their respective names. It allows them to be more confident and feel important in a conversation. 

 Bonus Point – Shower them with Hugs

Their is nothing better than a warm hug. Physical affection often shows how much you love and care for a person. Whenever your child feels sad, he comes up to you and curls in your arms. It’s their way of showing that they love and care for you. Same goes with the parents. When you hug them, it shows that you love them and care for them. They can always look up to you in any situation. This exhibits a confidence in them to go for any task in life. Let them know that they can always count on you.

Parenting can be tough sometimes but there is no better joy than seeing your little kid achieving big success in life. Give kids opportunities to feel confident and capable, and showcase with words and actions that they are loved and valued. 

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